Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Goo Goo Gaga

Before House of Gaga, she was just Stefani Germanotta, an incredibly talented brunette from NYC.  Unfortunately, being herself wasn't getting her where she wanted to be, so she created a whole persona, something many performers have done and continue to do.  Great, no big deal.  I had finally come to appreciate Lady Gaga and enjoy her music and the whole event that Lady Gaga has made herself to be.  Through this carnival of influences, she can be a mega star that can really push a message of universal acceptance of anything or anyone "different" in a much grander way than she ever could as just plain Stefani Germanotta.  She's a strong, tough lady who is wise beyond her years and accomplishing a phenomenon that I can only applaud her for.  This has always been my argument for her.
Part of her charm is that she's a postmodern figurehead of all the male & female divas before her.  Her image is a cluster fuck of icons like Madonna, Bette Midler, Cyndi Lauper, Ziggy Stardust, Cher, Elton John & even the German Expressionist film, The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari (thanks in a huge way to Alexander McQueen.  RIP).  But that's the whole point.

In her music, she always has a breakdown in the middle that sounds like a sample from another strong music figure.  Examples: In "Poker Face" she sounds just like Peaches.  That gnarly, school-teaching badass bitch who has been heard in movies like Lost in Translation and collaborated recently with bands like The Flaming Lips.  She's just a little too hardcore for mainstream radio, but she has a following.  In "Paparazzi," her breakdown sounds like Gwen Stefani in "Hollaback Girl."  "Alejandro" sounds like an Ace of Base song and the video looks like Madonna's "Like a Prayer" video.  "Born This Way" is like Madonna's "Express Yourself."  Even "You and I" sounds like the Billy Joel's "Vienna."

I know there are plenty more, but let's make my point.  All of these people before her have been there and done that.  Madonna clearly paid homage to Marilyn Monroe in her "Material Girl" video, giving us the wink that she knows she's not the first blonde bombshell to push the envelope.  She also openly admitted to taking dance and fashion cues from underground drag queen proms that took place in New York City.  In fact, you can watch an entire documentary, Paris is Burning, on the very people she borrowed from.
Madonna at the world premiere of Paris is Burning
That's what icons do.  They take their influences and make them their own, fresh and new, and bring them to the mainstream.  None of these people have had any reason to hide it, in fact, more often than not, they are proud to give credit where it's due.  Right?  Well, sometimes.  In Gaga's case, one minute she claims to be 100% original and the next she either has gotten support from the artist or claims ignorance.

Part of me knows quotes can be taken out of context.  Another part of me knows that there is an empire that needs to be protected/doesn't care b/c they know the fans don't.  I also know firsthand that there are truly accidents where you either don't know or were influenced and didn't even remember it happening.  For instance, on a much smaller scale, I once gave an impromptu (& unsolicited) stand-up routine to a room of fellow high school classmates about mice giving nonstop birth in a shed while my mom screamed and tried to swat them off a tennis racket. After class, one of my good friends pulled me aside and said it had happened to her.  Oops.  There's actually a bit like that in one of my favorite books, The Unlikely Romance of Kate Bjorkman, too.  My bad.  But I was funny, right?

No matter what the reasoning, my only advice to Gaga (b/c she asked me for it the other day) is to try and not look like an ass by saying stuff about God giving you songs like you are Billy Graham.  And you should probably do a little research before you perform to make sure you aren't stepping on toes (or fins, in the case of Bette Midler).  No one wants to look as silly as Vanilla Ice did (about 1 minute in):
But if you do get caught, fess up to the homage and move on.  Don't take full credit.  You look less Paris Hilton-caught-on-tape-AGAIN and more like a class act.  And my only advice to people who have such deep-seeded hate for Gaga and feel like they constantly have to "call her out"?  At the end of the day, she's an entertainer.  She is the new "It" girl pushing the envelope b/c somebody has to scare parents.  So she's not entertaining you?  Fine.  I don't enjoy death metal but I don't waste time bitching about it.  To each their own.

And anyways, shouldn't you be more worried about things like health care, national debt, an abused Earth, civil rights, corrupt lawmakers or media moguls and corporations with too much power?  Or, more than anything, shouldn't you be doing your job that many unemployed people would gladly take?  I know I should be.  But that shit is depressing.


why any of it*,

bunny


*so I'm not the world calling the orange blue**, this is a direct quote (early 2000s, Kazi Bonner)
**this is from a Federico Garcia Lorca quote "The world is blue like an orange."  I could go all day.  Ok, not all day.  That's all I've got.

P.S. If we are going to call her out, I would just like to say that I am famous for not wearing pants.  DAMN HER.   

Monday, July 18, 2011

Dream A Little Dream

I had a the craziest dream with all my biggest fears mashed together about a month ago and I TOTALLY forgot to tell you.  At the time of this nightmare, I was really self-conscious about my job and felt like my boss was avoiding me like a girl he hopes will break up with him if he ignores her enough.  I was also in the process of my house being built.  I am also always on the verge of my next twenty-something meltdown so life fears come in to play as well as fears relating to the close relationship I have with my mom and sister and the HUGE guilt complex that weighs heavy on my life.  Now that you are cringing at what a mess I am:

It starts with my husby and I walking through an art museum with one of his friends from college who is now a successful film critic and playwright in LA.  Well she brought her boyfriend who didn't have much of a face in this dream BUT as we were walking around and my husby was dressed like a douchebag with a backwards cap and a polo (which is NOT his style) he kept ripping on me with his friend for how lame I supposedly am.  Then he said that because of said lameness, he wanted a divorce.  Like, a for reals divorce.  Not the one we joke about all the time in real life.  But a real one.  And he was so casual about it.  In fact, I'm pretty sure he was texting while he told me this.  So then his friend tells me that she never respected me b/c I am with someone that treats me like that and I allow it to happen.  Unfair! (She is not like this in real life, FYI, so cool your jets.)

I awoke momentarily to make sure my husband had not left me and when I dozed off again, I was on a trip with everyone I knew.  Like, EVERYONE: close friends from Michigan and Oklahoma, most of my coworkers at my current job, as well as people from my study abroad group.  Our trip was a quick drive to Turkey in my blue Fit.  All of us.  You know what a Fit is, right?
EXACTLY MY POINT.  And yes, we drove.  There were no dream cruise lines or frozen oceans.  We drove.  And Turkey kind of looked more like a summer camp in Northern Michigan until we got to the marketplace later on.  Hold up, we'll get to that.

So at some point, my old boss, the one before the one ignoring me like a lame girlfriend in real life, but from the same company, comes to tell me that my Fit isn't working b/c my friend had either slashed the tires or ruined the engine somehow and we all needed to leave the next day and if I didn't figure something out, I would be letting down the whole company and could lose my job.  So I am repeatedly telling all my friends now, "Please don't book a flight, I'll figure it out," even though in my head I'm thinking, "I really don't want to fit all of you bastards into my Fit again so it would really be more convenient if you did."

First thing's first, I go to the house that my friend is staying in and I confront him.  "Why the hell did you fuck up my car?  I have to figure something out now!"  To which he goes berserk on me about going off his medication b/c he's sick of it and then proceeds to grab a drawer and run out on the lawn, screaming nonsense and dumping toys and trash on the ground.  Also, nothing like said friend.

So then I run off to talk to my sister and she says my mom is really mad and disappointed in me and refuses to talk to me.  So now my anxiety is up even more and I make my sister take me to the Turkish marketplace so I can see for myself.  Now the scene has changed to old school, ultra sandy and windy desert marketplace with people bartering left and right, speaking Turkish and my mom is now running one of these stands and refuses to even look at me.  My sister is all, "See?  I told you.  Leave us alone."

So then I run back to this weird Northern Michigan summer camp of houses that everyone I know is staying in and I am running around in this house that is supposedly the one that I built and the flooring has been put in.  I work in flooring in real life so this aspect of my new build house was uber important to me.  So when I go inside, it's mostly this weird velvet carpet that is all these dark maroons and greens and blacks and grays that is supposed to look like a stone walkway.  Some of it is even installed up the wall and in the kitchen but then there is a weird patch of laminate by the sink for water that will get on the floor.  So I am flipping out.  Everyone is thinking I am crazy and wondering why I'm so upset.  There is some laminate too but that is only in the tiny living room when you first walk into my tri-level house.  FYI my house isn't tri-level.  Nonsense.

I go outside and I run into one of my friends from my study abroad who used to be pretty quiet, but blossomed on our study abroad.  Well she starts telling me how she and one of my good friends who was also on our study abroad were going to stay in Turkey for awhile and why don't I join them?  I'm like, dude, I got all these people to get back home tomorrow and my husband.  Which then makes her go into judgmental mode that's all about me ruining my life by getting married and now I can't decide to stay in Turkey on a whim and that's why she and my friend are great friends and I am a loner.  We have this chat as we walk through the Turkish marketplace as I secretly look for my mom who apparently has closed up her shop for the day.

At this point I woke up.  My anxiety was skyrocketing, but my husband is still with me, my house turned out great and my family is NOT mad and giving me the silent treatment.  O, and no one ruined my car or drove it to Turkey.

Now my friends may judge me for being married at a young age and sometimes I even judge myself b/c it goes against what I had always believed in, BUT if marriage means the end of your life and your freedom and your fun, then you are probably right b/c it sounds like you have already decided you are going to let your life die if/when you get married.  But your life is always happening and you can have wonderful times of growth and happiness at any age and any marital status as long as you are confident in your choices, find the beauty in their outcomes and always find a way to work your current situation to your advantage.  And as long as you don't date or marry an unsupportive dickhole, which fortunately is NOT my case.  So step off, Judge Judy.  HA!  Bet you didn't think you'd get a life lesson outta that one.


velvet floors and transcontinental Fit trips,


bunny