I have come up with a plan for peace within our government that will put everyone on the same page:
Obama & the government should be on the next episode of Glee. Obama would sing "Why Can't We Be Friends?" by War. The American people will get a spot with Bob Marley's "Misty Morning." The media will sing "Dirty Laundry" - DUH - by Don Henley. At one point we will have John Boehner sing "The Club Can't Even Handle Me Right Now" by Flo Rida. Congress could totally do "We Are the World." There is literally something for everyone. We should definitely have the top 1% that control 42% of the wealth in our country sing "Time of My Life" from Dirty Dancing. New addition: the banks should sing "S&M" by Rihanna. And Joe Biden should sing "I'm No Angel" by Gregg Allman. Just because how hilarious would that be? Here's some help if you are having trouble picturing it:
I'm no politician (or angel), but this is the only solution I can come up with. Let me know if you have some better song ideas or special guests you think I am missing such as Rush Limbaugh, Sarah Palin, the environment, etc. I'm telling you, puro genio. Oh, and Stevie Wonder should totally end scene that shit with "Sir Duke."
Why does Hills look awesome without any make up? It's all that power & Paris.
O and nevermind what it's for. Libya, shmibya. News, snooze. Blues, clues. Go to HuffPost. I'm not your PoliSci prof, OK? I do my research, you do yours. It's called being a well-informed adult. Put that in your pipe & smoke it. K back to work.
First, let me start my post by saying please send your thoughts & prayers & maybe even a $10 donation to the Red Cross for Japan. Also send some good vibes to our peeps on the West coast & Hawaii so they don't have the same magnitude of disaster on their hands. They are all on my mind, so to make myself feel better, I am going to do a list of my current favorite things that make my workday better:
Lean Cusine Santa Fe-Style Rice & Beans
These are amazing when I am running late (not uncommon) and I haven't had time to make a lunch for myself (again, not unusual). It is actually really good for a light vegetarian frozen dinner. If you want to jazz it up, you could always bring tortillas to work with you or chips or guac or something, but I usually just do the beans & something else.
Emerald Cocoa Roast Almonds Dark Choc flavor
These are SO GOOD and they actually only have 1g of sugar & no more sodium or fat than the regular Emerald dry roasted almonds. So indulge & get a little sweetness. Remember that almonds have lots of protein so great to keep you chugging 'til you can eat a real meal, but there is lots of fat, so take it easy too. I usually just fill the cap & eat that & then close them away until next snack time.
My office plant
It has gotten HUGE since I got it. And it was only $3.99 at Wright's IGA by my apartment. I don't know what it is about me & tropical plants, but they LOVE me. And I love them. Thanks for the memories.
Company receptionist
The lady that works at the front desk in front of me is hilarious. She & I both talk to ourselves and rant about people peeing on seats or salespeople complaining about stupid things & generally see eye to eye. As I have said before, I am an old lady at heart. I gave this doll a Valentine b/c she makes me so happy.
Bob & Tom (on KRXO 107.7)
I have at least 30 - 45 minutes to commute to & from work each day & the mornings are much better because of this show. I tell stories about them like I am actually friends with them & I am seriously considering getting a VIP membership to their site even though we all know that's a dumb idea. Isn't it? I also admit that I have a crush on Chick.
These puppies are not only delicious, but they help me get in a good amount of fruit AND fiber. It took me awhile to figure out why I was having normal BMs until I realized that my 4-5 dried apricots & new coffee addiction were the culprits. I'm so happy now. Don't get the dried apples, they taste like someone peed on some earwax.
Black & Decker 5-cup coffee maker
This has been a lifesaver. The people I work with never clean the office coffeepot & I wanted some other flavor so I got myself this little guy for $10.50 at Super Target. It got bad reviews on target.com BUT I figure some people had success & it's only $10.50 so why not? So far so good, but don't hold me to it. I registered my warranty, though. I'm not stupid. Well a little, I don't know how much that actually helps when something is a piece of shit.
The Laughing Cow Light Blue Cheese
Just got them last night. Ate it today on raw tomato & carrots. Dear God, if you love blue cheese, don't hesitate to get these little guys. Nom nom nom.
Grooveshark
I LOVE that it quenches my thirst to download illegal music without being illegal about it. I can make playlists or listen to the radio for FREE so it makes my day better at all times. I will say it can be a drag when they don't have what I want, but oh well, good outweighs bad.
Cadbury creme eggs
Either you are in the camp that is disgusted by these & the people who love them, or you are one of the nasty weirdos that joyfully licks that sugar-packed creme out of that delectable chocolate shell. Clearly, I am in the fatass camp. But when I get to have my Cadbury egg for the day (since I decided this week they are my new daily vitamin) my day is instantly better.
Warehouse vending machines
Whenever I am bored or need to get up & walk around or I just need some soda & treats, I go through our break room to the warehouse & buy a 65 cent can of Diet Coke and an 85 cent candy bar. It makes me feel like I did when I went to camp & at the beginning of the week you could pay $10 and pick out a candy bar & soda that you got to have for each day of the week when the camp closed down for siesta. I wish that was my life now, but alas, it is not & I have to settle instead for a soda with barely any fizz & the regret of eating a candy bar I don't need. I'm not bitter, but this is my reality and these little things still bring happiness & fond memories.
L'Oreal lipstick in Rambling Rose
Can't remember which line the lipstick is in, but it's the line that's on sale for $1 less at Target right now. I love it b/c when I am bored and have a quick sec, I put it on and stare at my lips. And then I get back to work.
These are a few of my favorite things - mostly food - that get me through my new, full-time working stage of life. I have some funny things to share about my workplace at a later date, but for now, you get to read my vices. If I were Oprah and people showed up for my Favorite Things show & this is what I gave them, I'm pretty sure I would get banana cream-pied. If nothing else, this list reminds me how lucky I am that this many things make me happy and for once I don't have a shit job.
Today is the day before Lent officially begins aka Ash Wednesday, when all my Catholic friends get ash crosses on their foreheads & give up something they love. But before they head to their unreal fish frys every Friday throughout Lent, they go all out. Be it at Mardi Gras, which I hope to partake in the debauchery some year soon, or, if they are Polish, they will gather their leftover lard & sugar & make some paczkis (poon-shkey - thought you'd like my pronunciation guide), an even better Polish version of a jelly donut:
Paczkis are HUGE in Michigan, due to the large Polish community that exists in places like Hamtramck & Chicago. I am actually Polish but unfortunately, by the time I came along my grandparents' Polish Culture Center parties had petered out. I still got to hear my grandpa speak Polish to babies & animals & heard plenty of stories from him & my dad. And dammit, I am proud all the same.
Many people, at least up North where the Polish run rampant, make fun of people for being Polish. In fact, I had some pretty blond hair for awhile and was actually told, "Wow, you are really screwed being blond AND Polish." Nice, right? Well, I am here to tell all those jokesters why Polish people are even made fun of in the States in the first place. It all started at a little place called Ellis Island when immigration was booming in the late 1800s & early 1900s. Different cultures came in waves, one of which was a wave of Eastern European immigrants. Eastern European languages are MUCH different than your standard romance languages like Spanish, Italian, French, English, etc. so when these Polish immigrants couldn't understand a word anyone was saying and they sounded like they were speaking gibberish, they got stuck with the stigma that they were stupid. So there ya go. The people who make fun of Polish people in the States are telling some OLD ASS jokes and need to get some new material. Seriously. It's like doing stand-up & trying to make a joke about Lillian Gish & kinetoscopes. The only people who will laugh are Charlie Chaplin (dead) & film students who know their film history. See? Now who's dumb? While you're at it, could you lay off women, homosexuals & anyone of any color other than white? OK, great. Yay progress.
Let me also take this moment, brought to you by Catholics & paczkis, to point out a cultural difference between Oklahoma & Michigan. Now, where I come from, when you are getting to know someone, within the first few times of hanging out you usually talk about what you are. Meaning, what is your ancestry. It's a big deal. Most of my friends know what the majority of their genetic make up is and take great pride in it. Like I am mostly Polish & Scottish with some English & Irish in there too. Even if they are the twentieth generation & have never been to the country or met a single pure blooded person from there EVER, they will fight ANYONE who rips on their heritage. Especially if they have been drinking and have even 1/16 of Irish in them. When I asked people that question when I moved to Oklahoma, I had to first explain what I meant and then usually got, "I don't know random European stuff & Native American." Which isn't a bad answer, I don't look down on this answer, it's just different than I am used to. Native American culture is a lot bigger here. Definitely part of Michigan's heritage, but the European cultures that took over the state have kind of overshadowed that heritage. I know lots of Italians, Germans, Greeks, French, Canadian, Polish & even Middle Eastern. I know Middle Eastern isn't European, but it's another culture that overshadows Native Americans. I also know way more Catholics in Michigan. But I didn't know any card-carrying Native Americans until I moved here.
The More You Know.....
pazckis, debauchery & fish frys,
bunny
P.S. If you are in the OKC area, there is a Polish restaurant in Bethany that I have always been meaning to try. I think it is a mother & son. They have been featured in the Oklahoma Gazette & have pretty good ratings on Urban Spoon, so you'll have to see them for yourself to try some pierogies or if you go today, maybe they'll have some paczkis. While I'm at it, you should know paczkis only happen on Fat Tuesday. Anyways, whenever I go to Maggie's, I will of course feature it here!
Maggie's Cafe 6315 NW 39th Expressway Bethany, OK 73008
Since you guys don't read & tell, I'm moving on to bigger and better things: my night in with my oldest sister. We thoroughly enjoy the nights where we plan several activities and then only do 1/4 of it & talk for the rest of the allotted time. Usually horror movies are involved, which we talk through. Games & food are a good bet, which we talk through as well. And of course, always a main ingredient, cheap beer, which we drink as we talk.
Last night was no exception as I pitched in a whole $4.50 for a 6-pack of Minnesota's Brew (really good for cheap beer!) and she got us a 12-pack of Lost Lake (cheap & cidery Wisconsin beer). We also sipped some Irish Mist (YUM) & failed to watch Children Shouldn't Play with Dead Things (1973) on VHS that I got at my old video store gig in my hometown. It should definitely be seen, but I highly recommend the VHS copy b/c it is especially bad. I didn't know how I'd feel when I first watched it, but I ended up really liking it & feeling like I spent a worthwhile $1.50 on it. The best part is my VHS cover is all busted with a crazy picture & decorations on it. Priceless. The things I get a kick out of.....
Can't believe I found a pic of my case!
We did get to play You Blew It, a dice game, over the phone with one of my sister's best friends. I have played it a million times but always have to be reminded whenever I play again & usually don't truly catch on until halfway through. Very fun, though, I'll have my sister give me some solid instructions to post here later.
Beyond my cheap beer, game & crazy, old horror movie suggestions, I wanted to share this gem of a recipe that is healthy & AMAZING. I'll give you the original Whole Foods recipe as well as our version that we made with what we had. I definitely recommend, if you have a smart phone, to get the Whole Foods Recipes app. It lets you create shopping lists & has all kinds of really delicious ideas:
*1 (20 oz) package frozen 365 Everyday Value Organic whole grain brown rice (prepped according to package directions)
*1/4 c crumbled feta cheese
-Make rice.
-Cook onions & then add peas & carrots to skillet with onion & cook all the way through (about 10 min).
-Spoon veggies over warmed rice & garnish with feta.
Sister Sister version
*chopped white onion (however much you are making/want)
*1 cup brown rice (some really good brand I got at Super Target)
---when cooked, you will have 3 1/2 c brown rice. If you need more rice for more people, adjust. You should do two cups of water for every cup of dry, uncooked rice. If you can get a rice cooker, you should. It is the best gift my in-laws ever gave me, hands down. LOVE it. Only takes 15-20 tidy minutes rather than 45 minutes of I Love Lucy boiling-over-on-the-stove shenanigans.
*bag of frozen green beans
*feta
-Add water & rice to rice cooker (if you are cool)
-Once rice was done & warming (yea, it stays warm when it's cooked. Told you to get one.), put green beans in skillet on stove & cooked following bag instructions.
-Chopped onion with many tears & squinty & swearing, both of us taking turns trying to master it. Put desired amount into skillet with a little butter & cooked until brown/caramelized
-Put rice & green beans & onion in bowl, sprinkled with desired feta cheese amount.
-Ate in five seconds flat.
And you should probably listen to this song while you're at it:
Since I am always the one doing the talking here (and elsewhere. I'm what they call a "Chatty Kathy." If "they" are in the 1950s), let's hear whatcha got for me. Oh, why did I choose this picture of LeVar Burton? B/c he has two forms. We used Reading Rainbow lyrics above, so I want Jordi version of LeVar. You know, you're getting away from the point with these questions.
Anyways, if you were lying on the beach & your mom came up to you with a ravenous hyena she'd chained up with a rusty chain and told you to tell her your favorite book of all time or she'd "RELEASE THE HOUND!", what would it be? If you have a couple MUSTs, that's cool too, but everyone has at least one book that changed their lives or way of thinking forever. So put on that thinkin' cap, 'cause mama can't hold that hyena for long......
You know, this is my blog. If I want to set up a scenario like that, I can. Why is she holding a hyena back with a rusty chain? Because she needs some recommendations for beach reading so she can join you. Before she hits up the beach bar. Plus, she knows you are all beached out and this is the only way to hurry you up so she can get that G&T and start soaking up rays with her new book. I'm not denying what she's doing is crappy, but she's not my mom, she's yours. You deal with that. OK, now get to it. I think I heard a link in the chain break...
Focusing my energy back on this blog's purpose, I'm going to give you a review of some stellar coffee places in the OKC area. But first, a non coffee-induced pep in your step:
I mentioned in my last post that caffeine makes me crazy, even in as small of a dose as iced tea. At the time of that blog, I was banned from caffeine by my doctor because I was living on it to function semi-normally with skyrocketing anxiety and an eye that twitched like a crackhead. I was debased to this state because I was working part-time, going to school full-time and doing a costume internship on an independent film over 20 hours a week. While helping my husband run errands for his family in my free time. What free time? Yes, I am crazy and no, I was not sleeping. Who has time for that?
I am finally out of school and work full-time in an office so now I need coffee to stay awake in front of my computer, beneath the glare of flattering fluorescent lighting in my Joe Versus the Volcano (1990) office. Between the internship run by Satan and adult job experience, I have now come to appreciate a good cup o' Joe - especially when mystery coworkers make brown water. Blech.
Gray Owl Coffee
This gem is located in Norman and is one of my favorite places ever. Gray Owl is one of the businesses, along with other cafes, shops & bars that have helped to build up Norman's old downtown on Main & Gray. I loved it before, but it is flourishing now, especially with Second Friday Art Walks every month.
When you open up Gray Owl's large wooden door with its spindly handle, you are hit with the aroma of their coffee, espresso & teas, as well as their various baked goods made fresh daily. Their walls are a gallery to local artists whose work is for sale at reasonable prices. Thrift furniture makes up the decor and adds to the broken-in feel of the place. Board games, magazines & papers are found across the coffee tables, while a bookshelf harbors a library to borrow from in the back. The staff is pleasant, even when things get busy and the music is always very chill, putting you at ease while you prepare to jolt your body to life.
My favorite thing to get there is the soy vanilla latte, but I enjoy it with milk as well and have had great luck with the teas and mate, another way to get a good boost. Tell them you want to try something and they might even do a little tester for you if they aren't slammed. Take a whiff of all the teas in those big glass jars - delightful. The baked goods are delicious and the perfect blend of moist & flavorful. I know some people really hate the word "moist," but you just have to get over it when you are talking baked goods, k? The times I have gotten the quiche ("Ya don't spell it, son. Ya eat it!") I have been floored, as it was comparable to quiche I ate in Paris everyday I was there.
What makes this place even better is their coffee & most (if not all) of their teas are Intelligentsia, which means they have a direct trade with the farms that grow their products and actually visit them every month. So now you can get your fix guilt-free, knowing your shop and its producers care about you, your community & each other. Pretty neat, huh?
A gourmet grocery & cafe with locations in Norman & OKC, there is so much to get and try here, you will never leave disappointed. It is exactly like all the little gourmet marts you can go to in big cities like LA or NYC and choose from all things organic & international. At the front is the counter for groceries, while the back counter is where you can order one of their mouthwatering lunch specials (LOVE cold avocado soup in the summer) or pick from one of their hundreds of cheeses from all over the world OR you can get a fair trade coffee drink. See, I'm not off topic. I have to plug the whole shop but if my description seems insufficient here, I can always do a whole separate post. But as I was saying, the coffee is amazingly smooth & comforting. My mother and I got cappuccinos here before and they were out of this world; I've been hooked ever since. If you get to sit down and enjoy it with some cane sugar, I know you will be as happy as a clam.
Be sure to grab some of their sodas by the front counter and, oh, while you're at it, how about some international treats like stroopwafels or some dark organic chocolate with bits of ginger in it? I'm a bad influence to everyone when it comes to treats, so don't feel too bad.
To top it all off, these passionate folks have cheese classes you can enjoy at either location for a low price. Follow them on Twitter for updates on lunch specials as well as any classes coming up.
Since I live in Norman, I haven't gotten to have as many visits to Coffee Slingers, but when I do, they hit the spot. Now that I work in the city, refuge is only a 10-15 minute trip and well worth it. In fact, the first time I visited them was in the middle of my internship when I was about to head back to Norman for class and needed something to keep me up for the 30 minute drive and three hours of class. I told you I know I was crazy - lay off!
Coffee Slingers is in downtown OKC in Automobile Alley, an up & coming district that was once the auto marketplace until the 1995 bombing destroyed many buildings in the area. The mayor & community built the area back up with all kinds of great businesses that have been popping up & thriving ever since. I'll share these nuggets of greatness with you in the future, so be patient.
All of their coffee is scrumptious & fair trade. Their menu is simple with the different types of espresso drinks & a standard price. I love cappuccinos, so that is what I end up getting, but be aware that their sizes are not your traditional Starbucks gallon cups. The size changes depending on the type of espresso drink you get so make sure you ask if you don't know what something is and find out its size. I have had some of their baked goods (can't remember what, a scone?) which are also exceptional. Their decor is very clean, modern & minimalist, so again, a great place to relax as you rejuvenate.
They became a quick favorite as they are always there for me when I am on my last leg, but I can guarantee they will be a delight when you just want a tasty drink as you enjoy the sights of beautiful OKC.
1015 N Broadway
OKC, OK 73102
M-Th 6:30AM-7PM
F 6:30AM-9PM
Sat 7AM-9PM http://www.coffeeslingers.com/
Follow @Coffee_Slingers
Here is something from my "private blog" days. Sounds, weird, I know, but it was when I would type up some stuff that I was thinking about and then save it to my computer. The end, goodnight, no soup for you. So I'm dustin' this puppy off for your reading pleasure. I love the characters I have pictured here, some of the funniest ever, elderly or not. Guess being old (even at 23?) isn't always bad...
I feel like such an old lady. My back is all kinds of screwed up, too much caffeine (aka too much iced tea) makes me crazy, I have acid reflux, bad hips, I need shoes with actual support and my boobs are growing to the point where I am one size away from needing a full-body Mormon underwear suit. I wonder if the sex sheet with a wang-hole comes with that... For Pete's sake, I've even had shingles TWICE.
The fact that I just had to list all of my ailments proves my point even further. It’s like in Sixteen Candles (1984) when Sam asks her grandparents how they are and sends them into a diatribe about corns and bad backs and hot water bottles. Except I’m 23, so it’s not endearing, it’s sad. I know it’s rough for the older ones, and by no means funny (at least all the time), but at least most of them had a good go-around in their youth. Mine has already begun! I’m going to show up to my ten-year high school reunion in orthotics with a hip replacement and a hearing aid, because, oh yea, I can never hear anything either. I wrote once that my body was just trying to make me pure so I had to adhere to all these healthy guidelines, but it’s looking more and more like my body is trying to kill me off. Which, to be honest, I guess all of our bodies are decaying as we speak, some just more rapidly than others AHEM. Pleasant, no? But as long as I Grace Kelly my way out, flying around a mountain in a sports car, I’m cool with it. I guess. Shit. Too soon? See, I said I was old. Grace Kelly’s death is still pertinent to me.
Au revoir, Pee Wee! Gotta finish my pea soup before my Metamucil sets in and I have my scheduled bowel movement. Can’t have my hernia acting up again. Oy vey..... Doh!
